Nature vs. Nurture - Part 2

I've written here before about the battle between nature and nurture - the natural tug-of-war between what we teach our children and what they appear to 'know' on their own.

Last time I noted that my boys just knew to fall asleep in front of the TV with their hands in their pants. Nature 1, Nurture 0.

Much has happened in the time since that post. My boys walk and run. They talk and sing and dance and play with friends. They've really come to love their sisters. In fact, there are times when Luke needs help but he won't accept it from me or my wife. He will only allow my oldest daughter to console him.

They turned 2 last month, and they are fully in the throes of learning to be 2-year-olds. Ben yells 'No!' at me, no matter what I say to him.

Here's an example. Me: "Ben, how was your day?" Ben: "No!"

Here's another. Me: "Ben, that picture you drew of you walking with your mom is terrific!" Ben: "No!"

And Jack has learned the 2-year-old's art of dramatic interpretation. Or, maybe it's just drama. If his brother takes his toy, Jack slowly tilts his head back, closes his eyes, widens his mouth into a toothy oval, and screams to the heavens.

If Jack asks to be picked up and a parent declines the invitation, Jack slowly tilts his head back, closes his eyes, widens his mouth into a toothy oval, and screams to the heavens. Doesn't matter the issue. The response is the same.

And Luke. Well, Luke has learned that he's bigger than the other two. Which means he can bear hug or aggressively tackle at will. He grabs his brothers and squeezes until Ben yells "No!" and Jack tilts his head back and hollers to the heavens. And just tonight, he decided that he was pugilist enough to box with me. He misjudged that matchup.

All of that seems pretty normal to us. So perhaps it's Nature 2, Nurture 0. We've always wondered what it would be like to have boys. And defying, hollering, and tackling seem to be it.

But recently, Luke took the age-old argument to another level.

We've been working on potty training for a while now without great results. A few weeks ago, though, Luke told us that he needed to go peepee on the potty. So we rushed him to his little training potty, pulled down his pants, and sat him down.

At which point he immediately got up, went to the bookshelf and got his favorite book, and then returned to his seat on the potty. He needed something to read.

I wish I could have taught him that.

Nature 3, Nurture 0.